2012, ready or not, here it comes!

Here comes that  over used statement, "I can't believe it's already here."  But it is!

I decided years ago that I don't make resolutions cause I break them.  Usually by January 5th.  I'm really terrible at them.  Like the year I was giving up soda.  psh.

I do think it's time for some goal setting, based on last year's experiences.  So here goes.

1.  Photography:  I want to push myself to really learn the ins and outs and not rely as much on the cool settings in my camera, but actually put that baby on manual mode and go.  I'd even like to do a couple of real shoots if I can borrow some equipment.  I don't see this as a money maker, but a way to express myself in my own way.  My lovely hubby bought me a FANTASTIC new camera for my birthday and I'm ready to move up.  Here's a couple of my newer photos...

2.  Working out.  I really hate this one.  I loathe working out.  But I have a problem.  I've already done it.  I've already trained.  I've already lost nine pounds.   I've already run my first race.  See?

So, I just need to get to it.  And lose the 15 pounds I gained back.  oy.  But I can do it.  And I guess my treadmill will no longer be a clothes rack.

3.  Make more memories.  I have found that I get swept into the daily monotony of life.  Regular schedules, same old stuff.  I want to be more spontaneous and take our kids fun places.  And stop just talking about it.

4.  Drink more water.  (see how clever I am?  I didn't say I WOULDN'T drink something)  Unfortunately it's true, I do feel better when I drink more water.  damn.

oh oops.  That's not water.

5.  Be present.  Unplug every once and a while.  *gasp*  (I was also clever here too, I didn't totally say I was unplugging.)

Here's to a great year :)

Everything's Gonna Be Alright...

I know this because I woke up and saw this this morning...

It was like God's personal message to me :)

Have a sunshiny day :)

Daddy's Last Christmas

I've been avoiding this post for a while.  Seems as though if I don't post it's not real. 

But it is.

My Dad is dying.

*sigh*

First of all, this is not that unexpected.  He's had MS for 46 years.  And in his words, that's 46 years of hell.

Don't I know it.

MS effected all of us.  The life we led, the things we did, the vacations we didn't take...  in eighth grade I could dismantle and assemble his Mobie scooter in two minutes flat.  What a nice accomplishment.

I got stared at.  Then he got stared at.  And then I wanted to punch someone in the nose.  But he told me, just smile and look them in the eye.  So I did.

MS can is a disease that affects everyone differently.  We were lucky.  He had his mental faculties a very long time.  He was alert and he had great use of his hands and arms for a very long time.  He got hand controls for the van.  He didn't let it stop him.

Then, about 5 years ago, we could see a change.  He'd repeat himself.  He'd be confused.  He wouldn't make sense.  And then it would go away.

And then Boy #2 came along and my mom decided to pack them up from OK to live near us in TX. 

As with all parents, aging happens.  So it was no surprise that we saw deterioration.

And then came last Easter.  The start of the really bad stuff.  The months of hell. 

Daddy got pnuemonia the day after Easter.  This led to hospital stays of weeks at a time.  He lost a lot of mobility then.  He's prone to UTIs, these were scary.  He was delusional, calling for his dead relatives, his sister, his mom.  Screaming at the top of his lungs.  Thinking he was falling.  And all we could do was sit there.  In and out of the hospital and a rehab facility.  Over and over again.  Six weeks in a rehab center.  Home for a day, back in the hopsital.  And so it went.

Finally he agreed to have Hospice care.  That oragnization is such a blessing.  They don't just support end of life, but they prive nursing and the supplies that are needed.  He gets baths several times a week.  It's a little respite for my mom.

Then camethe  last UTI... a few weeks ago.  Like nothing I've ever seen.  He became unresponsive, fever, pnumonia, the works.  Days in ICU, he didn't know us.  It was horrible.  At least he doesn't remember that.

But I do.

Mom and I came to the very difficult decision that we can't do this anymore.  This cycle is endless, and excrutiating for all of us, and deadly for Daddy.  So, we brought him home.  We chose a funeral home.  Made decisions.  Cried.  Talked.  Mourned. 

So he's home.  He's not well.  He just came around after a week of confusion and agitation.  He screams, he cries, he sleeps.  He doesn't eat. 

He's still in Hell.

Christmas Day he wanted so badly to get up out of bed and try and join us at the table.  "This is my last Christmas and want to be at the table."  We obliged.

But he couldn't, the pain is just too awful. 

We opened presents with him in his room.  He didn't really know what was going on.  But we were there together.

Here we are

I find myself in this guilt ridden predicament.  No, of course I don't want Daddy to die.  But I don't want him like this either.  So I pray for a peaceful transition.  And sometimes, selfishly, I ask for it quickly.  It makes my heart twist all around when I do that though. 

So, we will take one day at a time.  Try and make the most of it.  I feed them when I can.  And I'll try to maintain for my two young cherubs at home who just don't understand yet.

Thanks for reading.  I needed this therapy.

Bah Humbug: Why doesn't it feel like Christmas?

Let me start by saying, most of this is my fault. 

I procrastinate.

big time.

I keep waiting for it to bite my behind, but it hasn't yet.

So I continue.

I digress...

This holiday season has been really stressful!  I keep wating to turn around and find it all done, but it's not.  Where's my fairy?

Here are my lame reasons why I'm stressed out.

1.  Christmas is on a Sunday.  I know, but it matters.  Big time.  For example, I don't get off work til Wednesday.  That leaves me two days before Christmas Eve.  For a slow poke like me, that's serious stress. 

2.  It's been raining.  For eternity.

        Ok well not eternity.  But for about a week.  And, the last thing I want to do is drag Boy 1 in the rain while I shop in the afternoons.  If I don't see some sun soon, I'm going to need some serious happy pills.  Wine ain't cuttin' it.

3.  Daylight Stinking Savings time.  It's dark at 4:30 in the afternoon.  Makes my whole body think it's bedtime.  Who wants to shop when you should be in jammies???

4.  My Christmas cards have been ordered and printed and I haven't picked them up yet.  Cause.... I don't wanna address all those stupid things.  Whose bright idea were cards anyway?  (ok maybe the reason is that I don't have that special pic?  nah.)


See?  Aren't they lame?  (ok well, there are some serious reasons too, about which I will blog later.  Now is not the time.)

Anyway, I'm hoping for some serious inspiration in the next 12 hours or else it could be more Grinch that neccessary here at the ranch.  (although, it turned out for him, didn't it?)

SEE??

help.

Dog 2: Riley the Rescue

I'm an animal lover.  I wouldn't consider myself over the top, needs seven dogs and twelve cats and they have drink out of silver bowls lover, but I love animals.

Biggest Boy and I got Dog 1, Boomer, the spring before we were married.  She's a chocolate lab and she was the size of a nerf football.  She was beautiful.  :)

My husband could also be known as the dog whisperer.  He has this ability to calm any dog and they love on him like he's nothing short of meat. 

I love Dog 1.  She's so smart, and funny.  She loves us, has been so gentle with the boys.  They could pretty much dress her up in girl clothes and she'd be fine.

So, why another?

I have no flipping idea except to say that it felt right. Oh. And this.

That's the picture I got in the first email.  OY.

1.  I'm a dachsund lover.
2.  Did you see that face???

I had been warned he had all sorts of separation anxiety, that he gets in the trash and tries to dig.  We agreed to try each other out for a week.  I don't think they were talking about him.  This is him the first night.

Doesn't look that sad now does he?

So it's been a month.  This is a brief pictorial of his new life at the house.

nap, nap, nap.

Looking at me with those sweet brown eyes,

taking up his half in the middle of the bed....

and just plain being a part of the family.

He's my shadow, everywhere I am, he's there too.

I mean really, who could resist this face????

Needless to say, he's staying :)  We already can't remember life without him!

I hope that at some point you all get a chance to save a dog, it's really something special :)

Don't talk to strangers!... unless it's the guy dressed in red.

Yesterday was Santa day at our local fire department.  This is a downright fabulous event they throw every year which includes a bounce house, popcorn and cookies, crayons and coloring books, and of course, the big guy: Santa.  It's about five minutes from my house and the longest we've ever waited in line is 15 minutes.  BRILLIANT.

When we got there, all three boys were pumped!

So we start waiting right when we go there.  My usual post is to hold our place in line while Biggest Boy gets the snacks.  Today, Boy 1 wanted a cookie and Boy 2 wanted popcorn.

I'm with Boy 2 on this one, popcorn from the big popper is the BEST!

We finally get close enough so that Boy 1 could write down what he wanted.  Still in kinder, he chose to draw what he wanted.

 He's drawing a Bumblebee Transformer.  We only speak of Transformers in our house these days.  And let me just add that I'm OVER THE MOON that they have created yet ANOTHER transformer show.  not.

As we get closer, I'm coaching Boy 2 that he'll need to sit on Santa's lap and tell him what he wants and he assures me he knows what to do.  All the while eating his popcorn.  crunch crunch.

We get to the main man in the suit.  Boy 2 WON'T go.  Here is where my over the top need for Christmas memories usurps my common sense about talking to strange men.  Boy 1 trots right up, Boy 2 is frozen stiff.  I'm the photographer so Biggest Boy is in charge of herding the children, but he wont hand over screaming Boy 2 to Santa, like we've done the last two years.  See below.

Not bad right?  But no, Biggest Boy refused and only let Boy 1 do his thing.  I'm devestated.  I personally think that this is a right of passage and damnit, I needed a Christmas card picture!!!!!

I'm trying not to throw a fit myself while Boy 1 is having a lovely conversation with Santa and I didn't want to miss it.  It looked like this.

See how lovely these are???  And now no memory of Boy 2 throwing a fit, I mean that what's it's about right?  Scare your child to death and put him on a scary man's lap so Mom can take a picture.  That's the spirit of Christmas I tell you.  I need my picture!!!

...

Ok, after consideration, I realize that it's not that big a deal.  I'll get over it, and Boy 2 will be unharmed and not have to sit on a stranger's lap like we tell him not to.  So, when we got home I took a few quick ones for the Christmas card.  Here's what I got. 

So, hope you enjoy :)

Finding gifts for the teachers... the continuous dilemma between cost and meaningful

The holidays are a time of giving, and more often than not, (I hope) you are inclined to include your children's educators a gift.  After all, these delightful people probably spend more time with your kids than you do.  (sad but true!) 

As a teacher, I have been blessed to be included in many yearly gift giving days... Christmas, Valentine's day, end of year, birthday...  It can be overwhelpming, to be sure, to recieve so many gifts!

But I also know that there is the constant delimma of WHAT to give... and my kids have 6 teachers, do I buy for all of them... and do you think they'll hate that... and they are so hard to buy for... and... well a million other things.

I'm hoping to shed some light on this conundrum for you by giving you some good (hopefully) ideas of what to give... and what to stay away from.

Let's get the 2 MAJOR no no's out of the way first, shall we?

1.  Candy and sweets.  While in little bits,it's ok,  this usually ends up wasted.  So sad, but true.  Keep in mind if there are 10 - 15 (in my case closer to 26)  other kiddos bringing in candy and sweets, then that is  pounds and pounds of chocolate that most likely won't, or couldn't, be eaten within this decade.  Let's just put it this way.  Last year my Valentine basket was full at the end of the day of trading card and messages.  The day before Halloween, I finally threw away the last 50 Hershey's kisses I had left.  And the solid chocolate hershey's kiss that's as big as your face? yeah well, that went straight in the can too.  I'm telling ya, too much can go to waste.  If you are sure you want to give sweets, maybe coordinate with others in the class so that it's not an overwhelming amount.  Plus, most teachers these days are watching their wastelines, and while we want to be gracious, you might just be sabatoging their willpower.  LOL.  Just ask me how my no sugar plan has gone this week!  OY.

2. Apple or teacher themed stuff.  I mean really.  Ok, I know that some of it can be cute.  But really?  I can honestly say that I have about 12 apple ornaments with 2 sweet 2 B 4gotten on it, and they lay in the bottom of my ornament box every year gathering more and more dust cause I just don't have the heart to throw them away.  Ornaments are a great idea, but try and personalize them.  Maybe you know their favorite football team, or things they love to do.  I'm fairly sure that they have plenty of apple ornaments.  Jus' sayin'.

So now what?  I have gotten lots of great, inexpensive items that I have really treasured over the years.  Here are some of my perennial favs....
1.  Office supplies.  NO lie.  (particularly sticky notes of all sizes, shapes and colors!)  Most teachers walk into Office Depot and get a glazed look in their eyes.  That place is a little bit of heaven I tell ya...  all the pretty colors!!!!  ooo!!  Things we always need?  (and no, the school doesn't always supply this stuff, you'd be SHOCKED at the numbers of things they DON'T provide for teachers that they pay for out of pocket.)  sticky notes, tape, electric pencil sharpeners, magnets, sharpies...

2.  Gift cards for restaurants.  AWESOME.  After a long day with your cherubs, it sure is nice not to have to worry about what to eat and then it's free!

3.  Gift cards to school supply stores.  See note about teacher's spending their own money. :) 

4.  Ask the teacher if there are any needy students in class who are missing supplies.  At some point, these kids need supplies and more often than not, the teacher does it without thinking.  This could really be a blessing for both the kids and the teacher!

5.  Wal mart cards.  Wal mart has EVERYTHING.

6.  A personal note.  I know, seems corny right?  If you have a teacher that has truly made a difference, let them know.  I have a "happy file" in which I keep all my notes from students and parents.  On tough days, I pull those out to remind myself that I'm not doing this work in vain.  And, don't forget former teachers!  Some of my most special notes have come from past students who are saying hello and thank you.

7,  Bring in luch from their favorite fast food restaurant.  Two words:  cafeteria food.  So nice to have Chick Fil A to look forward to at lunch time!  We rarely have time to leave campus so it's nice to have a moment from the outside world.

8.  STARBUCKS.  and not a gift card, but just drop off their favorite drink.  I LOVE this!!  And for that matter, SONIC too!

These next two require some coordination from your campus administration.  All have different rules so make sure you ask first!

9.  Cover lunch duty:  ahhh, to have a little more extra time to ourselves in a day, heaven!  This one can be tricky, so ask your school admin team what the rules are.

10.  Cover their class for 30 minutes.  Again, the gift of time!!  And then, you can say that you've walked in their shoes...

I sure hope these ideas help and break the mold a little bit for you.  Enjoy!!

Elf on the Shelf Part 1: Lucky the Elf

We received an elf the day after Thanksgiving.  The boys have named him Lucky.  They are quite smitten with Lucky.  Thank goodness though, Lucky is not one of the mess-making naughty elves, but he does like to have fun!  Here are the places that we've found Lucky since we got him.

This is Boy 2 and me watching the Elf on the shelf movie.  We loved it

Here is the package...

Next are the places that we have found Lucky so far!

He got the boys a Lego advent calendar... cause we needed more stuff.

Ok, let me clarify mess making, he can make a mess, but an easy clean up mess :)  Lucky will NOT be playing in flour.  Do you hear me Lucky?

This may be my favorite :)  He's showing his intellectual side.  :)

So those are all the places that Lucky has been so far.  We still have a few more nights to go, wonder where he'll end up?

Thanks for reading...

Boy Mom...

Beauty Secret #3

Ok, well, implying that I have ANY beauty secrets would be a farce.  Let's just say I have a couple of secrets that I could share with others.  I tend to be a no frills kind of girl, but I do appreciate my nails and toes being done.

But, I'm the mom of two young boys.

Yeah right.

First,  cost.  I have definitely had times where they just don't fit in the budget, but I do whatever possible to keep them in, as with my toes.  I don't wear lots of make up, my hair is average and I love my clothes from Target.  So, I will splurge on nails and toes when I can.

Second, time.  Reminder, I'm the mom of two boys.  And the Biggest boy travels quite a bit, so I'm pretty limited on going by myself without adding the additional cost of a sitter.  I have given up Sunday afternoon naps so I can go be alone for a bit and get my nails done.

Enough with the jabber, on to the secret.  In an effort to save time, and money, I ask my stylist to do one thing.

Make the white of the pink and white fill extra thick.  By thick I mean basically to the midpoint of my nail.  I know you're thinking it looks crazy, but it doesn't.  See? 

In fact, it gives this illusion that they are pretty long, right?  Even my nail tech today commented on how long they look.  And who doesn't want long nails?  and who can have long nails with two young boys and all those crazy things you have to do like car seats????

Here they are up close...

I added come bling today, a little bit of silver glitter for the holidays.  :)

But, here they are on the other side.  See?  They really are short!

This little trick costs me no more than a regular fill, but I don't have to come as often because I can let them grow a LOT longer between fills (closer to 4 weeks then two) because the white never shows my nails underneath.  And, they're so short, they don't get in the way.  It's almost a two-for!!

Hope you enjoy!!

1,2,3,4,15, 19

Boy 2 is three.  And he is the definition of 3.  Headstrong, I don't want to, smiles at you while he's doing something he knows is wrong, all about doing exactly what his big brother is doing... even if he knows that doom and destruction will follow if he keeps bugging him.

Today the boys were playing "hide and seek."  (if you could call it that.)  I think it might be more like, I'll run through the house while you stand with you eyes kinda covered while you watch me run and I'll count as fast as I can.  It seems as if there is something... missing?

Being a mom has been a total trip.  I love it.  Not that it is always punch and cookies, but you know, it's doable.  But I find that I don't really... relate.  I'm an only child.  My parents were both quiet teachers, my house was quiet, I was quiet.  I didn't run, or climb on the furniture, or yell or scream because... well, I didn't need to.

Well God has a funny sense of humor blessing me with these two rowdy boys!  There are days that are a constant wrestling match, or yelling match, or fighting match.  These boys make that crazy gun sound that I don't even know how to begin to make.    We just now hit the ages where they "play" together, and games are just now hitting our house.  Hence the version of hide and seek today, with Boy 2 counting in his three year old way 1, 2, 3, 14, 15 19!

With my first, Boy 1, I would have stopped and corrected him, but not Boy 2.  He just wants to be like his brother I say.  And, I have chilled out a bit.  Most days.

The biggest blessing that I see with all this noise and dirt is that these boys seem to really enjoy each other.  They always have a buddy to play with, like it or not, and 9 times out of 10, they always get the other one before they start a new game or activity.  Makes me kind of wish I had someone like that when I was growing up.  But I also realize these boys are BOYS.  Totally different than I in many ways.  and so we learn together each day about life with two boys and what it looks like... and sounds like :)

Chilly Weather = Chili for dinner!

We've had an unseasonably warm year around here.  I mean, it's barely been jacket weather until about a week ago.  (don't know about you, but it's hard to get in the spirit of the holidays when it's 70 degrees outside.)  Anyway, we did get a cool snap last week, so automatically I think of every comfort and fattening food I know how to make and try to make it in three days. 

Going through my recipes, I found this chili recipe that is AMAZING.  It makes so much, but yet, I never have that much left.  huh.

Anyhoo, it's supposed to be based on the Eskimo Joe's Chili recipe.  It was given to me about 10 years ago from my mom, and it's a fall and winter staple around here.  I hope you enjoy!

*the recipe as it's listed is VERY spicy.  At the end I'll post my changes so that even the littlest boys can eat it :)

Eskimo Joe's World Famous Chili

Ingredients

3 lbs. of lean hamburger meat
2 small cans of green chilies
1 can Rotel (diced tomatoes and peppers)
1 can kidney beans - rinsed and drained
2 8 oz cans of tomato sauce
3/4 cup of chopped green peppers
3/4 cup chopped onion
4 T chili powder
1 T Lowery's Season Salt
1 T cumin
2 tsp. oregano
1 T black pepper
1/2 tsp cayenne pepper
1 tsp. salt
1 1/2 - 2 cups of water

Directions

Brown the meat in a skillet.  In a large pot, add the other ingredients and stir thourougly.  After meat if browned, add to pot and simmer as long as you like.  I like to let it simmer at least 30 minutes.

*For those who aren't friends of spicy heat:
Last night when I made it I didn't add any green chilis, I used a mild can of Rotel and no cayenne.  It still had excellent flavor and even Boy 1, 6, ate it up!  I also add elbow mac and an extra can of red beans.  :)

And then for lunch today:  I took a cue from Sonic and made a Frito chili pie wrap.  I put some chili, Fritos and cheddar cheese and wrapped it in a tortilla.  YUM.

hmm, a blog

Ok, so I got some inspiration.  Or pinspiration.  Or just flat out, this is something I'd like to think I can do.  After taking a look at my life the last few days, well, I thought it was histerical :)

Enjoy, but don't expect high quality journalism.