Let me start by saying that I have taken ownership of this. After I stepped back and looked objectively at our kids I realized it. That and other things that were happening on the school front made me realize:
Houston, we have a problem.
I think it started at Christmas. The monkeys got everything they wanted. Everything. How could they possibly need or want any more?
I think it was 32 seconds flat and they were already asking for something else. Half of what they just received WASN'T EVEN OPEN YET.
I was heart broken. Then I was mad. Then I was disgusted.
And then, I owned it.
We, as parents had done this.
It started with little things. Going to the store, seeing Hot Wheels for $1 and thinking, eh, it's just $1. No biggie. Yeah, that looks fun, it's not that expensive. Ok. Going on a road trip, lets get a new movie so that they will stay occupied.
There are other things that we weren't necessarily in control over. Our school just went 1:1. I received a new macbook, Monkey 1 has a brand new iPad that is for school. I already had my iPad. Dad has his iPad. I got a school iPad. You can see what happened.
Technology magically appeared on our doorstep. It does that right? It's free right?
For them it is. They don't know about the deposit I paid for insurance on the iPad. They don't realize that this stuff isn't really ours, it belongs to the district. I mean, it's in our house right?
Anyway, even after Christmas, the requests continued.
"Mom, you know what Joe has? I think that's really cool, can we get it?"
"But Mom I need this AND that."
And then,
"BUT WHY NOT??"
Because I said so. But that wasn't really the reason.
I was embarrassed.
Yes, we had cleaned out the playroom before Christmas and got our toys down to the bare minimum. Yes they went with me to CCA and donated the toys.
For all they know, we dropped the toys off at some warehouse and they disappear and no one really gets them anyway.
So this Christmas realization opened my eyes to the fact we had a problem and we needed to fix it. But even knowing where to begin was a huge problem for me.
Is the answer simply saying "no" all the time? Would they learn from that? What if they only receive gifts on Christmas and birthdays? That would help right? Certainly they would get it if I started saying no and not buying them things.
No dice. The requests continued. And then one more event was the straw that broke the camel's back.
Hubby and I took advantage of an opportunity to go away for two nights. We left the kids with an awesome sitter. She needed to grab some groceries for us and asked the kids if they wanted to go.
Monkey 1: "No that's ok, going to the store is boring if we don't get anything."
*blink*
Yup. He said it. He uttered the words. He validated what I knew all along.
He felt entitled to new things whenever and wherever he wanted.
And there you have it my friends.
The beginning of my quest to take the entitlement out of my children.
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