Potty Training: God's Joke on Mothers

Let me start by saying, I'm not the most wonderful, fabulous, no mistake making parent.  I've made plenty of them.  Bad ones.  And then, yes, I've had moments of brillliance.

That's how I roll.

But this potty torture training stuff is for the birds.  See, birds just poop wherever they want.  And no one cares.  That's the attitude of Boy 2 at the moment.  And it's killing me.

Here's Boy 1.  The analytical.  The thinker.  The builder.  The so serious I follow the rules to the letter cause I only have black and white and grey is unknown to me.

See, he can't even really smile on the first day of Kindergarten. :)

Here's Boy 2.  The silly.  The outgoing.  The crazy.  The I'll do whatever the heck I want, thank you, because I'm so cute and I know this because even strangers tell me how cute I am. 

He runs the daycare.  Everyone knows him... and probably lets him get away with nothing short of criminal mischief.

So, back to the torture training.

See Boy 1 was easy.  It went something like this.

"Ok, buddy, now it's time to pee pee and poo poo in the potty."

"Why?" (cause we have to have a reason for everything.)

"Cause that's where it goes."

"Ok."


done.




Ok, well maybe not QUITE that easy, but it was easy.  I don't remember wanting to kill him.

Boy 2.... well.  Let's say it hasn't gone that way.

Here's our DAILY conversation:

"Ok little man.  What are we going to do today?"

"pee pee and poo poo in THE POTTY!!!!!"  (read with gusto.)

"That's right!  And if you go, I'll give you m and ms, or skittles, or lobster dinner,  just GO!!!!!"

"OK!"

So we get in undies and make it through the morning.  Pee pee is easy apparently.  I know he has to poop after lunch.  He's got clockwork bowels thank you.

We sit on the potty.

I encourage, I play, I sing, I do a dance.

"I not have to go today.  I'll go tomorrow."

*blank*

"No baby, you need to go today." 

"No, it not working.  I go tomorrow."

Off he goes.  And he doesn't go all day.

First thing out of bed this morning, poop in the pull up.  REALLY????  and then he says....

"It's ok mommy, I not mean to."

*bang head*

Yes I know, he won't go to college in diapers, nor kindergarten either.  He's a late August birthday and I'll hold him back a year.  (his teachers and future wife will love me.)    But still, this has gone on for months!!!!  I'm actually quite tired of the laundry, the additional laundry, that toilet torture  training adds.  I'm just tired. 

I want to go grocery shopping without visiting the toilet six times.  I'd actually, just like to go grocery shopping, by myself, but I digress.

I want to be able to go through an hour without remembering to ask if he's been to the potty.

I don't want to carry a diaper bag any more.

*sigh*

So... we will continue on I guess.  And I'm sure that the minute he's trained I'll miss it, but for now, not so much.

Til next time :)